Author: richwest3

November, 2012 and January, 2013

Written before leaving Tonga:

I always want to be completely honest here, hoping that something I write might make someone else’s life a little easier or a little better. In that vein, here’s my confession for today; I am scared out here, more than just occasionally. Sure, I’ve been afraid on previous cruises but it’s not quite the same this time. In the past, I’ve been afraid of a particular situation. This time, it’s more of an underlying anxiety about nothing in particular. It’s worse at sea, worse when conditions are rough or when we’re in a tenuous anchorage, but is mostly constant at some level.

I don’t remember being afraid like this on previous cruises. I was ten years younger then and I think I was still covered by the invincibility shield of youth, despite being 40-plus then. I really suspect that what I’m feeling now is, at least in part, a symptom of another ten years of aging.

I’ve seen similar, subtle effects of age on several people, in particular, our parents. As they aged, they seemed to become more afraid of every-day things as well as less able to be happy in general. My aunt got to the point that she would only make right turns and would not drive on the freeway – a big handicap when living in Los Angeles.

I’ve also noticed that I should be happier than I am. I should be deliriously happy, after all, I’m sitting on a boat in Tonga. How can it get any better? I’m not unhappy by any means, but I think I should be more enthusiastic about life, given my fortunate situation.

Today, Cyndi and I took action; we went to see a local doctor. With the apprehension of the New Zealand passage hanging over our heads, we decided to see if drugs could help with the nerves a bit.

Written a few months later, sitting in Opua, New Zealand:

As you may have read in Cyndi’s post, we got a mild anti-depressant from the doctor in Tonga – started taking them right away and I was at least imagining I felt results in just a few days. After a week, I was really starting to feel a difference – feeling much better. The low-grade, constant apprehension was for the most part gone and what was left was very manageable. I was less irritable. I felt happier.

We’ve been taking the pills for over two months now and I love them! I’m glad I got over the stigma, real or imagined, of taking anti-depressants or mood altering drugs in general. (I always wondered if antidepressants would change who I was. Now I think that’s nonsense. And even if it did change who I was, I like being this drugged person better!)

I am really happy now and I think that is a totally appropriate way to feel, given our situation. Actually, this is the happiest I’ve ever been, and again, given the circumstances, I think it would be indicative of a problem to feel any other way. Now, when I do become irritated about something, my immediate reaction is to wonder if I remembered to take today’s pill. Almost always, I have, but this seems to break the cycle or a spiral into a bad mood.

As for anxiety, it’s still there a bit when I think ahead to our upcoming passage back to the tropics, but at what I now consider a manageable and appropriate level.

I don’t know what the long-term effects are of taking these pills. We’re going to see a doctor in New Zealand and find out. I don’t know if we could have achieved these same results with some type of cognitive therapy. I doubt it. I really feel that these pills are chemically combating chemical changes in my brain that have come with age – a natural consequence of aging for some people (I’ll be 55 in a couple of months). It seems to me that these pills confront the problem at the same level as the problem’s cause.

A side note: I’d hate for anyone to think that all the glowing, wonderful things we say about New Zealand are merely a result of happy pills. There are lots of cruisers walking around this beautiful country with huge smiles and they can’t all be druggies like me.

What must you think? I write about taking antidepressants and struggling to have an AFD (alcohol free day) now and then. What it is, I hope, is an honest representation of the cruising life of this particular cruiser. -Rich

November, 2012

A while back, I wrote a post titled Sailing Sucks (link).  Basically, I tried to rationalize and justify my desire for a small, slow, inexpensive power boat – you know, about like what we have now, but without all the flappy bits.  I thought I was on to something new.  Nope.

Here are two incredible books I just finished on that very subject.

Voyaging Under Power (link to the book on Amazon)
by Robert Beebe

The Troller Yacht Book: How To Cross Oceans Without Getting Wet Or Going Broke
(link to the book on Amazon)
by George Buehler

January 19, 2013

Tom commented on all the pictures of me sitting at a table with two beers. There’s a reasonable explanation: Cyndi gets up to take the pictures. One of those beers is hers, honest.

But there’s also a more interesting, related point. Cruising goes well with alcohol, at least for us. I used to think that alcohol went best with down or troubled times but for us, it goes really well with happy times too. It just feels good to have a beer with lunch (every lunch) and a bottle of wine in the evening (every evening). Sometimes we find that we’ve had alcohol so many days in a row that we understand completely where the concept of the AFD comes from.

AFD is a term we started hearing towards the end of our cruise – It stands for Alcohol Free Day. We strive to have one now and then. Sometimes we succeed, sometimes we fail, I shocked the assembled dinner crowd a few days ago by talking about an AFW (alcohol free week). A hush fell over the table as if everyone was contemplating the possibility of such a feat. Then the denial. “You don’t drink that much, do you?” Was she really asking herself if she needed an AFW?

I haven’t accomplished an AFW, at least since French Polynesia and I’m not sure I can, but it’s something to strive for. Since the Somali pirates have robbed me of the goal of sailing around the world, maybe I can replace it with the even loftier ambition of the AFW.

(Seriously, don’t worry about us. I don’t really think we’re in need of a 12 step program yet. But then, what is it they say about denial. If you seeeee meee starrt to slur my words here, intervene!) -Rich

Update… 1:20 pm

An AFD is looking pretty good as we had water with our fish and chips for lunch.  By the way, did you know that New Zealanders consume more fish and chips per capita than those in the UK?  That’s what we were told anyway.

Update… 4:20 pm

OK, the chances of an AFD are looking pretty grim.  We stopped at Cottle Hill Winery on the way home from fish and chips and stocked up on our favorites: grappa, white port, brandy (golden grappa) and wine.  For now they’re unopened.

January 2013

One of the markers of a New Zealand summer evening is the firing up of the grill for a barbecue dinner, and you know you’ve been accepted into community when you get invited to one. Our new friends Lara and Paul invited us to dinner at her parents’ bed and breakfast inn nearby in Kerikeri, The Georgian Lodge.

We were greeted by barefoot Lara and Paul (see Kiwi Tip of the Day) and had a glass of wine at their beautiful new home before we and the dogs headed over for dinner with Lara’s parents Jeff and Linda.

The Georgian Lodge is in the beautiuful countryside above the Kerikeri river. It’s a charming inn with wide expanses of grassy lawn, climbing roses, beautiful gardens, and a coi pond that makes the perfect backdrop for a wedding. Champion horses graze in the corrals nearby.

It was the quintessential beautiful Kiwi summer evening. After a tour of the grounds, we sat down to a fantastic grilled dinner with chicken, steak and side dishes and excellent (of course) local wine with lots of talking and laughing while all the dogs played on the grass. For dessert, we had this amazing cheesecake. We had a great time, and this sort of evening is what New Zealand is all about. –Cyndi

December – May, 2013

We noticed in our travels around New Zealand that most people own at least one dog, and that dogs are welcome on hiking trails, beaches, in parks and in many business establishments.  I’m not sure I ever saw a No Dogs Allowed sign, although they might request you have your dog on a leash.

That’s not to say Kiwis don’t love cats, because they do!  But we began to suspect they might love dogs a little bit more.  This suspicion was confirmed one day in a pet store.  We found racks of those little caution signs you put in your car window to announce various critters on board, and they must have had about every major dog breed represented in those signs.  Here is a picture of one of those racks.

And here is the sum total of signs to represent the many breeds of cat.  I rest my case. –Cyndi