September 22, 2015
We’re sitting here in Denerau Marina after three weeks in the Yasawas and moving slowly. I’m laying around and reading Bruce Campbell’s book called “If Chins Could Kill” (Amazon link). He’s a self-professed B actor and his book is great! It’s a really interesting tale about the movie and TV business.
In his book, we found what has perhaps become our new favorite “drinking movie”: Army of the Dead (part III of the Evil Dead movies) – starring, wait for it… Bruce Campbell. It’s right up there with Sharknado II.
Now we’re watching his TV series: The Adventures of Brisco County Jr, and loving that.
We also found an unexpected bit of Kiwiana in the book:
A Kiwi Primer
-A-
American — Yank
Apartment — Flat
Ass — Arse
-B-
Bandaid — Plaster
Body Shop — Panelbeater
Butt — Bum
-C-
Canned Pet Food — Jellymeat
Castrating Lambs — Docking
Cooler — Chilly Bin
-D-
Diaper — Nappy
Dress — Frock
Drunk — Pissed
-E-
Elevator — Lift
Exhausted — Buggered
Expensive — Dear
-F-
Field — Paddock
Flashlight — Torch
French Fries — Chips
-G-
Gasoline — Petrol
Good-bye — Cheers
Ground Beef — Mince
-H-
High School — Tertiary Education
Horny — Randy
Humorous Person — Dag
-J-
Jacket — Jumper
Jello — Jelly
-K-
Ketchup/catsup — Tomato Sauce
Kindergarten — Kindy
Kitchen Counter — Bench
-L-
Large American Automobile — Yank-tank
Lawyer — Barrister
Lemonade — Lemon Squash
-M-
Man — Bloke
Mechanical Pencil — Propelling Pencil
Mile — Kilometer (sort of)
-N-
Native American — Maori
New Zealand — Godzone
New Zealander — Kiwi
-O-
Oatmeal — Porridge
One Shot — One Off
Overgrown Zucchini — Marrow
-P-
Pedestrian Crossing — Zebra Crossing
Popsicle — Ice Block
Pound Sign — Hash Mark
Prick — Wanker
-Q-
Q-Tips — Cotton Buds
-R-
Raining Hard — Pissing Down
Rice Krispies — Rice Bubbles
Rural Areas — Wops
-S-
Sexual Intercourse — Bonk
Soda Pop — Fizzy Drink
Speed Bump — Judderbar
-T-
Table Napkin — Serviette
Testicles from Castrated Lambs — Mountain Oysters
Toilet — Loo
-U-
Umbrella — Brolley
Underwear/panties — Knickers
University Graduation Ceremony — Capping
-V-
Vacation — Holiday
Valedictorian — Dux
Vegetables — Salads
-W-
Walking — Shanks’ Pony
Wicked Personality — Hard Case
Wrench — Spanner
-Y-
Yarn — Wool
Yield (sign) — Give Way
-Z-
Z — Zed
Zero — Nought
Zucchini — Courgette
We’ve spent two cyclone seasons in New Zealand and are hoping to get back there this season for a third. Even after almost a year in NZ, we learned new things from Bruce’s list. -Rich
